I am compiling a book of God stories. I need your help to make it happen. This will not be a religious book. I intend it to be of a universal nature, so it does not matter your religion or your system of devotion, or your spiritual path. It does not matter what name you use to identify our Source.
I am requesting a story of your own personal experience with God. It could be a story of awakening, or a story of being guided by Spirit. Or, an inspirational experience in which you knew without a doubt that God, a Supreme Being or Creator is real. I will also accept stories of feeling one with creation, an experience of miraculous healing and stories of Angels helping or guiding you.
Your story needs to be true and about your personal experience. Please do not judge your story, just send it.
Send your story to Godstories.cc@gmail.com
You may send your story in a Microsoft Word attachment. Please include your name, age, profession, city and state and country. I will also need your address which will be kept confidential. I will need to send you a letter granting me permission to publish your story if it will be included in the book. If you do not wish to have your name published, please let me know and your name will not be published. I would, however, like to give you credit for your story.
Also include in your story the circumstances surrounding your experience.
You may read my personal God stories in my blog and specifically the post titled, 'Fear, who cares", lightburdens.blogspot.com/2008/03/fear-who-cares.html
I hope to receive stories from all over the world, from people of different religions, cultures, backgrounds and ages. I will gladly accept stories from children as well. Stories from children will be included in this book or a different book, depending on how many I receive.
The goal of this book is to heal and inspire. I want people to know that it does not matter where you live, what you do or who you are, that everyone is entitled to receive the divine love of our Source. And that we are all within and at one with the same Source.
I hope you will join with me to fulfill this goal.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Transformation
I wanted to make sure that I created a post today. I'm going back to Tulsa tomorrow where my apartment is to pack up what I can fit in my car and sell everything else. I've been staying in Louisville for a couple of months now looking for new opportunities with my Fiance. If you've read my recent posts you know I have found an unbelievable opportunity for not only myself but also my Fiance. Jobs for both of us and a place to live rolled up into one situation. IT'S A MIRACLE!!!
I needed to write today because I believe we've already had our internet turned off at our apartment, so I'm not sure when I will have the chance to write again in the near future.
I wanted to share my recent experiences with A Course in Miracles before I left. I've actually already wrote about them in the form of emails to Lisa and a response to something she posted on her blog Gorgeous for God. To save time I'll just copy and post those messages here.
Here is an email message from May 21:
I just wanted to tell you about my experience with lesson 71 yesterday. Yesterday morning I did the first longer practice of the day, the part when you ask God what would you have me do, where would you have me go, what would you have me say.
I got an answer! It was very clear and undeniable. Interesting though, that the answer wasn't exactly in words or images but like an idea given to me. Some of it was a voice but not a specific voice. Not exactly mine and not unfamiliar. It said that being hurt is what I am afraid of and so I stay guarded and not really giving or receiving. It said to love people. Tell them you love them and give everything. This part was not spoken word for word, but more of an idea instantly received. Then I asked, "I can tell people I love them, but I might not really mean it. How do I mean it?" I didn't finish asking this question when it was answered. This part was word for word. It said, "Love the Light. Say 'I love you' to the light." And then implied, do not love the body, it's not who they are.
Then I waited for a moment in case there was anything more and then I heard, "read Corinthians 3:5".
So, then I opened the Bible and remembered there are two Corinthians, 1st and 2nd. So, I just went to 1st Corinthians 3:5. I had to read the rest of 3 to get the whole idea. It was really great. It talked about how God gives the increase and we are the Temple of God and He dwells within us, the wisdom of the world is foolish and all things are for us. Then I read 2 Corinthians 3:5 and it was perfect. It says, "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God." To me, that verse was what lesson 71 was saying, "God's plan for salvation will work". And it talks about how the ego looks outside of itself for salvation, that only if this person acted this certain way, or if this situation was different, I would be happy.
Anyway, I spent much of yesterday studying 1st and 2nd Corinthians. Much of what it says is what lessons 70, 71 and 72 are talking about.
The following is the response I left to one of Lisa's blog posts, "You who are now the bringer of salvation have the function of bringing light to darkness."
I needed to write today because I believe we've already had our internet turned off at our apartment, so I'm not sure when I will have the chance to write again in the near future.
I wanted to share my recent experiences with A Course in Miracles before I left. I've actually already wrote about them in the form of emails to Lisa and a response to something she posted on her blog Gorgeous for God. To save time I'll just copy and post those messages here.
Here is an email message from May 21:
I just wanted to tell you about my experience with lesson 71 yesterday. Yesterday morning I did the first longer practice of the day, the part when you ask God what would you have me do, where would you have me go, what would you have me say.
I got an answer! It was very clear and undeniable. Interesting though, that the answer wasn't exactly in words or images but like an idea given to me. Some of it was a voice but not a specific voice. Not exactly mine and not unfamiliar. It said that being hurt is what I am afraid of and so I stay guarded and not really giving or receiving. It said to love people. Tell them you love them and give everything. This part was not spoken word for word, but more of an idea instantly received. Then I asked, "I can tell people I love them, but I might not really mean it. How do I mean it?" I didn't finish asking this question when it was answered. This part was word for word. It said, "Love the Light. Say 'I love you' to the light." And then implied, do not love the body, it's not who they are.
Then I waited for a moment in case there was anything more and then I heard, "read Corinthians 3:5".
So, then I opened the Bible and remembered there are two Corinthians, 1st and 2nd. So, I just went to 1st Corinthians 3:5. I had to read the rest of 3 to get the whole idea. It was really great. It talked about how God gives the increase and we are the Temple of God and He dwells within us, the wisdom of the world is foolish and all things are for us. Then I read 2 Corinthians 3:5 and it was perfect. It says, "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God." To me, that verse was what lesson 71 was saying, "God's plan for salvation will work". And it talks about how the ego looks outside of itself for salvation, that only if this person acted this certain way, or if this situation was different, I would be happy.
Anyway, I spent much of yesterday studying 1st and 2nd Corinthians. Much of what it says is what lessons 70, 71 and 72 are talking about.
The following is the response I left to one of Lisa's blog posts, "You who are now the bringer of salvation have the function of bringing light to darkness."
Thank you Lisa for posting this. Last week I was struggling with stillness. couldn’t get past my thoughts and be with God, reacting a lot and feeling annoyed. Not wanting to accept my current situation of having loose ends to tie up in Tulsa but not being able to go there and not having my own space yet in Louisville. I was feeling increasingly frustrated and feeling like things weren’t working out for me. I started to go into the darkness and old thoughts about who I am started to come up like, there’s something wrong with me and I’m flawed somehow and not entitled to happiness. Crazy, right!
Well, one morning a couple of days ago, I woke up and thought that maybe I should just quit doing the lessons. But immediately I thought, NO!!! No specific thought behind that but just a feeling of urgency, like I am not going to waste anymore time, why not awaken right now. I haven’t got the time to waste. I do, more than anything, wish to understand.
So, today I’ve been in a state of gratitude. I am so thankful for these last few months in which it seems that there was a space created in my life, where I have the opportunity to spend most of my time focused on these lessons and on awakening, reflection and on God, without being distracted by a job and plans and schedules and meaningless activities. I realize what a gift this situation has been. I have no reason or excuse to not make time for God.
It’s like an intermission period in my life and the next scene is transformation. The light is shining away the past to make room for God’s presence!!!
Thank you for shining your light and being here for me and so many others.
With much love and gratitude.
p.s. I finally have the opportunity to go to Tulsa Thursday. I’m going to sell all my stuff and just take what will fit in the car. I’ll come back with very little baggage and whole lot more light. 
Friday, May 16, 2008
Love Created Me Like Itself
Love created me like itself, lesson 67. Lisa from Gorgeous for God said something very helpful about this lesson in her blog. She said, "If you’ve been having any difficulty it is for one reason, and one reason only: you must still be focusing on the problem." That was a very eye-opening statement for me. Because, yes, when I considered that statement, I realized I am still focusing on my problems. Not as much as I used to, but nevertheless, I am thinking of them.
She said that you can't think of your problems and God at the same time. I can't realize my true Self while focusing on my false Self. She also said, "As you focus on the truth of yourself (light, love, joy, perfect and holy) all your problems and false ideas about yourself will disappear immediately, with no effort."
Makes sense when I consider how I came up with false ideas about myself. I focused on them until I believed they were true. If I can make the false ideas about who I am true in my own mind then I am confident that I can recognize and remember what I truly am as God created me and make the true, true.
Here is what the lesson says and so this is what I will do today:
"Today's idea is a complete and accurate statement of what you are. This is why you are the light of the world. This is why God appointed you as the world's savior. This is why the Son of God looks to you for his salvation. He is saved by what you are. We will make every effort today to reach this truth about you, and to realize fully, if only for a moment, that it is the truth."
"Be confident that you will do much today to bring that awareness nearer(the awareness of a blazing light in which you recognize yourself as love created you), whether you feel you have succeeded or not."
"Four or five times an hour, and perhaps even more, it would be most beneficial to remind yourself that love created you like itself. Hear the truth about yourself in this."
"Try to realize in the shorter practice periods that this is not your tiny, solitary voice that tells you this. This is the Voice for God, reminding you of your Father and of your Self. This is the Voice of truth, replacing everything that the ego tells you about yourself with the simple truth about the Son of God. You were created by love like itself."
She said that you can't think of your problems and God at the same time. I can't realize my true Self while focusing on my false Self. She also said, "As you focus on the truth of yourself (light, love, joy, perfect and holy) all your problems and false ideas about yourself will disappear immediately, with no effort."
Makes sense when I consider how I came up with false ideas about myself. I focused on them until I believed they were true. If I can make the false ideas about who I am true in my own mind then I am confident that I can recognize and remember what I truly am as God created me and make the true, true.
Here is what the lesson says and so this is what I will do today:
"Today's idea is a complete and accurate statement of what you are. This is why you are the light of the world. This is why God appointed you as the world's savior. This is why the Son of God looks to you for his salvation. He is saved by what you are. We will make every effort today to reach this truth about you, and to realize fully, if only for a moment, that it is the truth."
"Be confident that you will do much today to bring that awareness nearer(the awareness of a blazing light in which you recognize yourself as love created you), whether you feel you have succeeded or not."
"Four or five times an hour, and perhaps even more, it would be most beneficial to remind yourself that love created you like itself. Hear the truth about yourself in this."
"Try to realize in the shorter practice periods that this is not your tiny, solitary voice that tells you this. This is the Voice for God, reminding you of your Father and of your Self. This is the Voice of truth, replacing everything that the ego tells you about yourself with the simple truth about the Son of God. You were created by love like itself."
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Happy, happy, joy, joy!
So, I've been struggling a bit with my lessons lately. I know why though. Although, I've been doing them, I haven't been giving them the importance they deserve. I've been preoccupied with other activities and have been forgetting to make time for God. As a result, I haven't been happy and I got sick a couple of days ago. Now, I'm choosing again. Now I'm getting back on track. I went to sleep last night with the conviction of making my lessons the most important activity.
My lesson today is 66, my happiness and function are one. The first paragraph of the lesson says, "You have surely noticed an emphasis throughout our recent lessons on the connection between fulfilling your function and achieving happiness. This is because you do not really see the connection. Yet there is more than just a connection between them; they are the same. Their forms are different, but their content is completely one."
A few minutes ago I was chatting with a very good, best friend. We have been consistent companions on our spiritual journey. We've been physically out of touch on occasions, but when we do get back in touch it's like we never left each other. We've been roommates in the past, we entered a spiritual organization at the same time, became very involved and then without discussion with each other, decided to leave at the same time. I remember telling her once, if we were the opposite sexes this lifetime, I'm sure we would be married. It's like an Oprah and Gayle thing.
Anyway, I went off on a tangent, so I was chatting with her on Gmail. We were catching each other up on what's going on in our lives. One of the things I said to her, I just couldn't believe it came from me. It was exactly what the lesson for today is all about, my happiness and function are one. I said to her, "I'm learning that when I decide that what is most important is what God wills for me I find I end up in the right place doing what I love and what makes me happy and really it seems effortless." She responded saying, "when you are in alignment with your heart and with love then everything goes well and happy things happen." And then she said, "really we're saying the same thing."
Exactly, your "heart" and love are of God. So, I got it! When I realize my only function is the one God gave me, "happy things happen." My function and happiness are one! It doesn't really matter what the form of the happiness is. This is what I'm learning. In whatever I'm doing as long as I shine my light, and share my love and joy then I'm fulfilling my function and I'm happy. It's not the form that matters so much as the function.
The past couple of lessons have been instructing me to set aside a specific time for God. Right now, I don't have anything I need to do at a certain time, so mornings work out. I can start the day off right. I hope I can keep that up when I start working.
This morning I dedicated 15 minutes to God in considering the ideas of the lesson. Part of my practice period I was to, "think of the many ways in which you tried to find salvation under the ego's guidance. Did you find it? Were you happy? Did they bring you peace? We need great honesty today."
I was able to come up with several ways I've tried to find happiness under the ego's guidance. I basically started at the beginning. The first time I was unhappy or thought maybe there is something wrong with me, I was in 6th grade. I realized I wasn't like the other girls in my class. I didn't care about shaving my legs or boys or fashion. I was a late bloomer and small for my age so I looked a couple of years younger than the other girls. I still just wanted to play. I enjoyed playing sports. I liked boys, but only because they still liked to play.
I didn't care much that I was different until the following year. It must have been the hormones. My parents couldn't afford designer clothes and I went to a middle school that a lot of well-to-do families sent their kids to. I was teased relentlessly. So I became withdrawn and shy. Now I thought for sure there was something wrong with me and I was unlikable and unlovable.
There was a conflict going on within me. I didn't like those girls who teased me. I didn't like how they acted. They were so superficial. I still didn't care much for fashion or poofing up my bangs, but I wanted to be liked and have friends.
I was depressed for two years and didn't want to go to school. My mom even had me in therapy. I was soooo miserable. Determining my level of happiness by the approval of other people is one way that I've tried to find salvation under the ego's guidance. My ego was telling me, "if people don't think your cool, then you no friends and you have nothing."
By 9th grade I was fed up. I was in high school now and I was determined to be "cool" even if it meant sacrificing my own morals. But, I still wasn't happy. I went right along with the other kids in making fun of "nerds" and "geeks" even though on the inside I was cringing. I started having nightmares every night. One of my reoccurring nightmares was trying to save the world from Satan. I would dream that I was having battles with the devil on a hill top. It was so frustrating, the devil always seemed more powerful in my dreams. I was having trouble going to sleep because of all the nightmares. I prayed to God for those nightmares to end.
One night those nightmares ended with this dream:
I was sitting up in my bed and there was a minister standing in my room in front of the window. There was a podium in front of him with a huge Bible on it. There was a raging thunderstorm with high winds and the window was open. There were lit candles in front of the window and I don't know how they managed to stay lit. The wind was blowing the pages of the Bible so violently I expected they would rip right out and fly out the window. The minister raised his hands to the sky and yelled, "Psalms 3!", the thunder cracked and lightening or fire shot out the ends of his fingers. I can still remember vividly, the few hairs he had on top of his head wisping in the wind. This happened a couple more times and then everything fell silent and went dark. Then a women appeared through my bedroom door and said that everything will be okay now and I can go back to sleep and have pleasant dreams. It was as if she came to console me and reassure me.
As soon as I woke up in the morning I rushed to my Bible to read Psalms 3. Here's what it says, "Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory and the lifter up of mine head. I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. I laid me down and slept; I awakened; for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about. Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God: for thou has smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly. Salvation belongeth unto the Lord: thy blessing is upon thy people."
At the age of 14, this experience gave me much comfort. I realized God really does hear my prayers and He is telling me I have nothing to fear because He gives me strength.
I decided to write about this experience in light of my lesson today. Recently I am facing the same challenges I did when I was a teenager. The form is different though. I realized in my practice period today that I have substituted the Love of God for many things. I thought I would find happiness if people liked me or approved of me. I've tried finding happiness in relationships or thinking that surely I could find happiness by getting married and having a family. Or, that financial security or getting my college degree would bring me happiness. In each one of these instances I have found disappointment and ended up angry at God. This sounds funny to me as I write this because God didn't make me unhappy it was me seeking happiness in everything but God.
I've notice that I'm still looking outside of myself and God for happiness and I've found myself angry with God a few times in the last couple of weeks. I've thought, "if you want me to be happy then why aren't I!"
A few nights ago, the night before I got sick, I had the "battle with the devil" dream again. I hadn't had that dream since I was 14! And like back then, I became frustrated because the devil seemed more powerful. When I woke up I knew I wasn't happy because I hadn't been caring so much for my lessons. I felt like I was failing. I read Psalms 3 again.
It wasn't until this morning that I really figured out what this all means. It was when I was spending my time with God that I figured it out. I then read my lesson again. It said something that really made sense out of what I've been experiencing and the devil dream and Psalms 3.
After the first paragraph in my lesson says, "The ego does constant battle with the Holy Spririt on the fundamental question of what your function is. So does it do constant battle with the Holy Spirit about what your happiness is. It is not a two-way battle. The ego attacks and the Holy Spirit does not respond. He knows what your function is. He knows that it is your happiness.
Today we will try to go past this wholly meaningless battle and arrive at the truth about your function."
My battle with the devil dream shows me how meaningless it is to battle with the ego. Later in the lesson it says, "We will not indulge the ego by listening to its attacks on truth."
What I had been doing was indulging the ego. That was what my whole thought of "if God wants me to be happy then why aren't I." Last night I thought before I went to sleep that I am determined to find out what truth is no matter how I feel. If I'm not happy it's not God's fault. It just means that I have not seen the truth. Then today in the lesson I read after the ego indulgent part, "We will merely be glad that we can find out what truth is." Isn't that amazing! It seems Jesus knows exactly what I will experience with these lessons and what questions, thoughts and feelings may arise.
So Psalms 3 is telling me to give up my illusions of being a victim(the things that trouble me and that are against me) and go to God. God is the strength in which I trust and there is nothing to fear (the Lord is a shield for me). All I need to do is ask and God will answer. His love will sustain me and my illusions will melt away into nothingness from where they came (He will smite my enemies). The Holy Spirit will replace my fear with love. "Thy salvation belongeth unto the Lord." Salvation is found in God and nothing else. My happiness and function are one, because God has given me both.
My lesson today is 66, my happiness and function are one. The first paragraph of the lesson says, "You have surely noticed an emphasis throughout our recent lessons on the connection between fulfilling your function and achieving happiness. This is because you do not really see the connection. Yet there is more than just a connection between them; they are the same. Their forms are different, but their content is completely one."
A few minutes ago I was chatting with a very good, best friend. We have been consistent companions on our spiritual journey. We've been physically out of touch on occasions, but when we do get back in touch it's like we never left each other. We've been roommates in the past, we entered a spiritual organization at the same time, became very involved and then without discussion with each other, decided to leave at the same time. I remember telling her once, if we were the opposite sexes this lifetime, I'm sure we would be married. It's like an Oprah and Gayle thing.
Anyway, I went off on a tangent, so I was chatting with her on Gmail. We were catching each other up on what's going on in our lives. One of the things I said to her, I just couldn't believe it came from me. It was exactly what the lesson for today is all about, my happiness and function are one. I said to her, "I'm learning that when I decide that what is most important is what God wills for me I find I end up in the right place doing what I love and what makes me happy and really it seems effortless." She responded saying, "when you are in alignment with your heart and with love then everything goes well and happy things happen." And then she said, "really we're saying the same thing."
Exactly, your "heart" and love are of God. So, I got it! When I realize my only function is the one God gave me, "happy things happen." My function and happiness are one! It doesn't really matter what the form of the happiness is. This is what I'm learning. In whatever I'm doing as long as I shine my light, and share my love and joy then I'm fulfilling my function and I'm happy. It's not the form that matters so much as the function.
The past couple of lessons have been instructing me to set aside a specific time for God. Right now, I don't have anything I need to do at a certain time, so mornings work out. I can start the day off right. I hope I can keep that up when I start working.
This morning I dedicated 15 minutes to God in considering the ideas of the lesson. Part of my practice period I was to, "think of the many ways in which you tried to find salvation under the ego's guidance. Did you find it? Were you happy? Did they bring you peace? We need great honesty today."
I was able to come up with several ways I've tried to find happiness under the ego's guidance. I basically started at the beginning. The first time I was unhappy or thought maybe there is something wrong with me, I was in 6th grade. I realized I wasn't like the other girls in my class. I didn't care about shaving my legs or boys or fashion. I was a late bloomer and small for my age so I looked a couple of years younger than the other girls. I still just wanted to play. I enjoyed playing sports. I liked boys, but only because they still liked to play.
I didn't care much that I was different until the following year. It must have been the hormones. My parents couldn't afford designer clothes and I went to a middle school that a lot of well-to-do families sent their kids to. I was teased relentlessly. So I became withdrawn and shy. Now I thought for sure there was something wrong with me and I was unlikable and unlovable.
There was a conflict going on within me. I didn't like those girls who teased me. I didn't like how they acted. They were so superficial. I still didn't care much for fashion or poofing up my bangs, but I wanted to be liked and have friends.
I was depressed for two years and didn't want to go to school. My mom even had me in therapy. I was soooo miserable. Determining my level of happiness by the approval of other people is one way that I've tried to find salvation under the ego's guidance. My ego was telling me, "if people don't think your cool, then you no friends and you have nothing."
By 9th grade I was fed up. I was in high school now and I was determined to be "cool" even if it meant sacrificing my own morals. But, I still wasn't happy. I went right along with the other kids in making fun of "nerds" and "geeks" even though on the inside I was cringing. I started having nightmares every night. One of my reoccurring nightmares was trying to save the world from Satan. I would dream that I was having battles with the devil on a hill top. It was so frustrating, the devil always seemed more powerful in my dreams. I was having trouble going to sleep because of all the nightmares. I prayed to God for those nightmares to end.
One night those nightmares ended with this dream:
I was sitting up in my bed and there was a minister standing in my room in front of the window. There was a podium in front of him with a huge Bible on it. There was a raging thunderstorm with high winds and the window was open. There were lit candles in front of the window and I don't know how they managed to stay lit. The wind was blowing the pages of the Bible so violently I expected they would rip right out and fly out the window. The minister raised his hands to the sky and yelled, "Psalms 3!", the thunder cracked and lightening or fire shot out the ends of his fingers. I can still remember vividly, the few hairs he had on top of his head wisping in the wind. This happened a couple more times and then everything fell silent and went dark. Then a women appeared through my bedroom door and said that everything will be okay now and I can go back to sleep and have pleasant dreams. It was as if she came to console me and reassure me.
As soon as I woke up in the morning I rushed to my Bible to read Psalms 3. Here's what it says, "Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory and the lifter up of mine head. I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. I laid me down and slept; I awakened; for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about. Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God: for thou has smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly. Salvation belongeth unto the Lord: thy blessing is upon thy people."
At the age of 14, this experience gave me much comfort. I realized God really does hear my prayers and He is telling me I have nothing to fear because He gives me strength.
I decided to write about this experience in light of my lesson today. Recently I am facing the same challenges I did when I was a teenager. The form is different though. I realized in my practice period today that I have substituted the Love of God for many things. I thought I would find happiness if people liked me or approved of me. I've tried finding happiness in relationships or thinking that surely I could find happiness by getting married and having a family. Or, that financial security or getting my college degree would bring me happiness. In each one of these instances I have found disappointment and ended up angry at God. This sounds funny to me as I write this because God didn't make me unhappy it was me seeking happiness in everything but God.
I've notice that I'm still looking outside of myself and God for happiness and I've found myself angry with God a few times in the last couple of weeks. I've thought, "if you want me to be happy then why aren't I!"
A few nights ago, the night before I got sick, I had the "battle with the devil" dream again. I hadn't had that dream since I was 14! And like back then, I became frustrated because the devil seemed more powerful. When I woke up I knew I wasn't happy because I hadn't been caring so much for my lessons. I felt like I was failing. I read Psalms 3 again.
It wasn't until this morning that I really figured out what this all means. It was when I was spending my time with God that I figured it out. I then read my lesson again. It said something that really made sense out of what I've been experiencing and the devil dream and Psalms 3.
After the first paragraph in my lesson says, "The ego does constant battle with the Holy Spririt on the fundamental question of what your function is. So does it do constant battle with the Holy Spirit about what your happiness is. It is not a two-way battle. The ego attacks and the Holy Spirit does not respond. He knows what your function is. He knows that it is your happiness.
Today we will try to go past this wholly meaningless battle and arrive at the truth about your function."
My battle with the devil dream shows me how meaningless it is to battle with the ego. Later in the lesson it says, "We will not indulge the ego by listening to its attacks on truth."
What I had been doing was indulging the ego. That was what my whole thought of "if God wants me to be happy then why aren't I." Last night I thought before I went to sleep that I am determined to find out what truth is no matter how I feel. If I'm not happy it's not God's fault. It just means that I have not seen the truth. Then today in the lesson I read after the ego indulgent part, "We will merely be glad that we can find out what truth is." Isn't that amazing! It seems Jesus knows exactly what I will experience with these lessons and what questions, thoughts and feelings may arise.
So Psalms 3 is telling me to give up my illusions of being a victim(the things that trouble me and that are against me) and go to God. God is the strength in which I trust and there is nothing to fear (the Lord is a shield for me). All I need to do is ask and God will answer. His love will sustain me and my illusions will melt away into nothingness from where they came (He will smite my enemies). The Holy Spirit will replace my fear with love. "Thy salvation belongeth unto the Lord." Salvation is found in God and nothing else. My happiness and function are one, because God has given me both.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Thoughts About Forgiveness
The light of the world brings peace to every mind through my forgiveness. This is my lesson today, lesson 63. What this says to me is that if I want world peace all I need to do is forgive. That is so amazing and simple to me and it makes sense. What I read in the text today after I read the lesson was so perfect. I've noticed, though, that it always is. I've always found that no matter what I read in the text of A Course in Miracles it offers much insight for whatever lesson I may be practicing for the day.
For, instance, Chapter 15, "The Holy Instant", says that truth is always simple and that it's only ego ideas that are complex. I used to think that forgiveness was complex. The truth is I didn't really understand what forgiveness is. I thought, that basically by forgiving, I was condoning what someone did and letting it be okay that they did that thing.
Then I started to think that forgiveness was putting yourself in another person's shoes. Thinking, "oh, this isn't about me, they must just be having a bad day, or, this isn't about me they are just not happy with themselves." But what I realized with this idea of forgiveness was, that justifying someone's behavior didn't take away the hurt that I felt. What they did or said still hurt my feelings.
Now I understand that the point in time that I felt hurt by someone was in the past. It is not happening right now. Even the instant that someone does something hurtful, the next instant I can let it go. The thing is, when it comes to another human being's negative thoughts and feelings or words about me, I don't even need to let it hurt me anymore so then there is no need to forgive in the first place. I am understanding more and more each day that there is nothing wrong with who I really am, which is spirit.
As far as forgiving people that have hurt me in the past, I have done that. I have let go of any negative thoughts I have about that person, because it wasn't the person, it was their actions and ego reactions. Further, I have let go of the negative ideas I have created about myself in association with that past hurt. I do not want to bring the past into the present any longer. Why would I want to continue to have the same unpleasant experience over an over again for the rest of my life?
Besides, most of the people I have felt a need to forgive are not even in my life anymore. I was the one who continued to let that situation from the past to continue to affect me. It's crazy! That person is no longer doing anything to me anymore. I'm doing it to myself.
So, ultimately it is myself that I need to forgive. After reading the lesson today, I was wondering why I still feel sad, annoyed, angry, etc. I thought, "I can't think of anyone else that I need to forgive." As soon as I thought that, I became aware of the fact that I'm sitting there smoking a cigarette. Yes, I admit it, I smoke cigarettes. Isn't the first step admitting that I have a problem?
Wow! I feel so guilty about smoking. I think it's a disgusting habit and a lot of the time I think I'm a horrible person for doing it. "Why do I smoke," I ask. "For comfort," I say. Why would I need cigarettes to make me comfortable, when God is always with me. Well, I don't always think God is always with me. I still think I'm flawed often even though I've made great strides over the last few months. And I don't always think deserve peace, love and contentment of a divine nature.
One of my former spiritual teacher's and now one of my best friend's and I like to use the term mentor, Sheila, told me she thinks I smoke because I feel unloved. She's right about that. But it's not because someone told me I'm not lovable and there's no one in my life right now that is not loving to me. I don't love myself. I'm doing this to myself.
The second sentence of my lesson today says, "I am the means God has appointed for the salvation of the world." It says, "I am". So, it's not others I need to forgive, it is myself. Besides, are minds are connected so it would make sense that when I forgive someone I also forgive myself. When I forgive myself, I forgive the world!
Speaking of salvation, chapter 15, "The Holy Instant", says , "Every allegiance to a plan of salvation apart from Him (God) diminishes the value of His Will for you in your own mind. And yet it is your mind that is the host to him. Would you learn how perfect and immaculate is the holy alter on which your Father has placed Himself? This you will recognize in the holy instant , in which you have been willing to meet its conditions. You can claim the holy instant any time and anywhere you want it. "
Jesus says, in chapter 15, that my mind not need be completely pure to claim the holy instant but that I need to be willing to give up my impure thoughts. Jesus says, "You could live forever in the holy instant, beginning now and reaching to eternity, but for a very simple reason. Do not obscure the simplicity of this reason, for if you do, it will be only because you prefer not to recognize it and not to let it go. The simple reason, simply stated, is this: The holy instant is a time in which you receive and give perfect communication. This means, however, that it is a time in which your mind is open, both to receive and give. It is the recognition that all minds are in communication. It therefore seeks to change nothing, but merely to accept everything."
So what this is saying is that to have perfect communication with God, which would mean to bring peace to every mind, is that I have nothing to hide. I am willing to let go of all of my false thoughts about myself and others and the world. Jesus says also in this section that every thought I would hide cuts me off from perfect communication. That even though the Holy Spirit is always ready to share in perfect communication, if I think I can keep any of my thoughts hidden then I'm not ready to share in perfect communication.
But really it seems so simple to have perfect communication and to claim the holy instant. Just be totally willing to both give and receive. Be willing to give everything and receive everything. To have my mind totally open. I am willing to have no private thoughts. The last paragraph of this section says, "For what you would hide is hidden from you. In your practice then, try only to be vigilant against deception, and seek not to protect the thoughts you would keep to yourself. Let the Holy Spirit's purity shine them away, and bring all your awareness to the readiness for purity He offers you. Thus will He make you ready to acknowledge that you are host to God, and hostage to no one and to nothing."
So I admit to the Holy Spirit, I do have a problem. I have impure and negative thoughts about myself, but I'm willing to give them up so my thoughts may become pure and I can take my place in the salvation of the world.
This section of the text also talks about Christmas as the celebration of the birth of holiness into the world. It says, "It is beyond all your littleness to give the gift of God, but not beyond you. For God would give Himself through you."
I love Christmas time. Why not make every moment Christmas time? Most people during the one day of the year we celebrate Christmas set aside their grievances to give gifts and spend time with family. Even my Step-dad who is full of grievances, sets them aside so the family may have a joyous day. I have to say, I love my Step-dad dearly. He never once made me feel unloved or any different than his biological daughter. But, that man has more grievances than anyone I know, nearly everyday there is a new one. Somehow he manages to forget them one day out the year.
So lets set aside all of our grievances and give the gift of God and allow God to give of himself through us. We can celebrate the holiness of each and every one of us so Christmas can be everyday. In lesson 63, Jesus says we are holy. "How holy are you who have the power to bring peace to every mind! How blessed are you who can learn to recognize the means for letting this be done through you! What purpose could you have that would bring you greater happiness?"
What other purpose would bring me greater happiness? I can't think of anything else. When I have a grievance I am unhappy and it is such a burden. When I let it all go, what a weight is lifted off! Forgiveness is the means to bring about peace.
For, instance, Chapter 15, "The Holy Instant", says that truth is always simple and that it's only ego ideas that are complex. I used to think that forgiveness was complex. The truth is I didn't really understand what forgiveness is. I thought, that basically by forgiving, I was condoning what someone did and letting it be okay that they did that thing.
Then I started to think that forgiveness was putting yourself in another person's shoes. Thinking, "oh, this isn't about me, they must just be having a bad day, or, this isn't about me they are just not happy with themselves." But what I realized with this idea of forgiveness was, that justifying someone's behavior didn't take away the hurt that I felt. What they did or said still hurt my feelings.
Now I understand that the point in time that I felt hurt by someone was in the past. It is not happening right now. Even the instant that someone does something hurtful, the next instant I can let it go. The thing is, when it comes to another human being's negative thoughts and feelings or words about me, I don't even need to let it hurt me anymore so then there is no need to forgive in the first place. I am understanding more and more each day that there is nothing wrong with who I really am, which is spirit.
As far as forgiving people that have hurt me in the past, I have done that. I have let go of any negative thoughts I have about that person, because it wasn't the person, it was their actions and ego reactions. Further, I have let go of the negative ideas I have created about myself in association with that past hurt. I do not want to bring the past into the present any longer. Why would I want to continue to have the same unpleasant experience over an over again for the rest of my life?
Besides, most of the people I have felt a need to forgive are not even in my life anymore. I was the one who continued to let that situation from the past to continue to affect me. It's crazy! That person is no longer doing anything to me anymore. I'm doing it to myself.
So, ultimately it is myself that I need to forgive. After reading the lesson today, I was wondering why I still feel sad, annoyed, angry, etc. I thought, "I can't think of anyone else that I need to forgive." As soon as I thought that, I became aware of the fact that I'm sitting there smoking a cigarette. Yes, I admit it, I smoke cigarettes. Isn't the first step admitting that I have a problem?
Wow! I feel so guilty about smoking. I think it's a disgusting habit and a lot of the time I think I'm a horrible person for doing it. "Why do I smoke," I ask. "For comfort," I say. Why would I need cigarettes to make me comfortable, when God is always with me. Well, I don't always think God is always with me. I still think I'm flawed often even though I've made great strides over the last few months. And I don't always think deserve peace, love and contentment of a divine nature.
One of my former spiritual teacher's and now one of my best friend's and I like to use the term mentor, Sheila, told me she thinks I smoke because I feel unloved. She's right about that. But it's not because someone told me I'm not lovable and there's no one in my life right now that is not loving to me. I don't love myself. I'm doing this to myself.
The second sentence of my lesson today says, "I am the means God has appointed for the salvation of the world." It says, "I am". So, it's not others I need to forgive, it is myself. Besides, are minds are connected so it would make sense that when I forgive someone I also forgive myself. When I forgive myself, I forgive the world!
Speaking of salvation, chapter 15, "The Holy Instant", says , "Every allegiance to a plan of salvation apart from Him (God) diminishes the value of His Will for you in your own mind. And yet it is your mind that is the host to him. Would you learn how perfect and immaculate is the holy alter on which your Father has placed Himself? This you will recognize in the holy instant , in which you have been willing to meet its conditions. You can claim the holy instant any time and anywhere you want it. "
Jesus says, in chapter 15, that my mind not need be completely pure to claim the holy instant but that I need to be willing to give up my impure thoughts. Jesus says, "You could live forever in the holy instant, beginning now and reaching to eternity, but for a very simple reason. Do not obscure the simplicity of this reason, for if you do, it will be only because you prefer not to recognize it and not to let it go. The simple reason, simply stated, is this: The holy instant is a time in which you receive and give perfect communication. This means, however, that it is a time in which your mind is open, both to receive and give. It is the recognition that all minds are in communication. It therefore seeks to change nothing, but merely to accept everything."
So what this is saying is that to have perfect communication with God, which would mean to bring peace to every mind, is that I have nothing to hide. I am willing to let go of all of my false thoughts about myself and others and the world. Jesus says also in this section that every thought I would hide cuts me off from perfect communication. That even though the Holy Spirit is always ready to share in perfect communication, if I think I can keep any of my thoughts hidden then I'm not ready to share in perfect communication.
But really it seems so simple to have perfect communication and to claim the holy instant. Just be totally willing to both give and receive. Be willing to give everything and receive everything. To have my mind totally open. I am willing to have no private thoughts. The last paragraph of this section says, "For what you would hide is hidden from you. In your practice then, try only to be vigilant against deception, and seek not to protect the thoughts you would keep to yourself. Let the Holy Spirit's purity shine them away, and bring all your awareness to the readiness for purity He offers you. Thus will He make you ready to acknowledge that you are host to God, and hostage to no one and to nothing."
So I admit to the Holy Spirit, I do have a problem. I have impure and negative thoughts about myself, but I'm willing to give them up so my thoughts may become pure and I can take my place in the salvation of the world.
This section of the text also talks about Christmas as the celebration of the birth of holiness into the world. It says, "It is beyond all your littleness to give the gift of God, but not beyond you. For God would give Himself through you."
I love Christmas time. Why not make every moment Christmas time? Most people during the one day of the year we celebrate Christmas set aside their grievances to give gifts and spend time with family. Even my Step-dad who is full of grievances, sets them aside so the family may have a joyous day. I have to say, I love my Step-dad dearly. He never once made me feel unloved or any different than his biological daughter. But, that man has more grievances than anyone I know, nearly everyday there is a new one. Somehow he manages to forget them one day out the year.
So lets set aside all of our grievances and give the gift of God and allow God to give of himself through us. We can celebrate the holiness of each and every one of us so Christmas can be everyday. In lesson 63, Jesus says we are holy. "How holy are you who have the power to bring peace to every mind! How blessed are you who can learn to recognize the means for letting this be done through you! What purpose could you have that would bring you greater happiness?"
What other purpose would bring me greater happiness? I can't think of anything else. When I have a grievance I am unhappy and it is such a burden. When I let it all go, what a weight is lifted off! Forgiveness is the means to bring about peace.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
A Brand New Day
Here is an email I wrote Lisa Natoli from www.gorgeousforgod.com. This is something I would share in my blog as well, (really I share most things in my blog), so rather than writing it twice I'll just post the email.
What a day and a half! I've gone from light to darkness and to light in a matter of about 24 hours. I just had to tell you about it.
Last night, for no particular reason, I was in love. I just had this feeling of new love. Like when you fall in love with someone and your on cloud 9. The best way to describe it was a lovely peacefulness. Then this morning, for no particular reason, I woke up feeling pretty apathetic. Didn't have a reason to get out of bed. When I did get up, I found out one of Fiance's 20 something cousins died in his sleep. He was fine, then dead. Very puzzling. Later we were told it was a massive heart attack. And then to add to this horrible start to the day Fiance's brother was admitted to the hospital. They finally figured out what was wrong and he will be okay.
I was really trying to see things differently. I picked up A Course in Miracles, but it was just words. I didn't feel any better. I was in a major funk. I read your blog hoping it would help me. And it did! You have a way of putting things into perspective. For Lesson 57 you said that things may get uncomfortable because new emotional responses might be coming to the surface. You quoted chapter 1 which says "Lack implies that you would be better off in a state different than the one you are in." And then you said, "All that is needed is acceptance of where you are RIGHT NOW. Once acceptance is established, the Power of God will lift and transport you to wherever you need to go." So, instead of repressing it and remaining calm and cool on the exterior, I just let the unpleasant feelings and emotions rise to the surface and just let it be.
I realized when I read your blog and observed my thoughts and feelings that I'm always thinking that I should be where I'm not. That I should be better. That I shouldn't be upset or in a bad mood and I wonder what is wrong with me. So, I just accepted where I was in the moment. I stopped beating myself up.
Later I thought, what am I to do with all this sickness and death going on around me? I wondered why this was all happening at once. I was trying to realize that sickness and death is all an illusion, but I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I was feeling sad for my Fiance's family and his uncle and his cousin's brother. I felt for my Fiance and his Mom worrying about his brother in the hospital. Sickness and death is very real when your so close to it and immersed within it.
I was thinking, I just don't get it. That this world is an illusion. It was an interesting idea to think of, but it wasn't my reality. I speak in past tense here because it has become clear to me and I am totally FREAKING OUT, but in a good way.
Earlier today while I was doing laundry, to past the time I decided to go to the Miracle Times website. I come across the Master Teacher videos and decided to watch the one on Resurrection. There wasn't a specific thing that he said in the video that really made the idea of the world being an illusion make sense to me. The video was quite an experience. The Master Teacher might as well have been sitting face to face with me speaking directly to me because that is exactly how I felt. I could see the pieces of the puzzle coming together to finally reveal the truth to me.
He was talking about the book A New Earth in the beginning and Tolle's experience of going into a void but the void was within him. Then the Master Teacher talking about being resurrected and about losing your body for a moment. I thought, I've been resurrected! That whole experience on my 22nd birthday, when I fell within myself and into a void and was told really everything but can only remember the essence of the experience. After that experience my life totally changed. I had new friends in a new environment and new opportunities. My physical appearance even changed. It was like a resurrection. And I've had more than one resurrection. It's when I decide to choose something different and my whole world changes. I realized that I can just choose to see differently and to be different. That really this physical form and physical world is not solid at all but very fluid. I really, really understand now that all I have to do is change my mind to change the world. The world is just a light projection of ourselves, a hologram.
Have you ever heard of the online virtual world called Second Life? You go into this virtual world on the internet, create your body, your identity and give yourself a name. Then you can purchase land and build whatever you want. You can make business contacts and go to lectures and meetings with multiple people. You can buy and sell physical objects and services as well as virtual things.
That is what this world, the universe, we live in is like! We created this fun virtual world to play in but for some reason became so engrossed in playing the game and creating the game that we started to think we were the game and then everything went to hell. It's like the Matrix too. All we need to do is press the delete button or pull the plug.
I just want to hold on to this awareness. I don't want to forget, that all I need to do is ask or just change my mind. I can escape from the world I see! I believe it!!!
It was funny what came into my mind when I had this awareness. I thought of the movie Vanilla Sky when Tom Cruise's character realizes he's just been dreaming and nothing he had been experiencing was real and he runs down the hall yelling, "TECH SUPPORT!!!!, It's a NIGHTMARE!!!" I can totally relate.
What a breath of fresh air this awareness is! I just had to tell you about it. Thank you for helping me accept myself for who I am and where I am.
Love,
CC
The other thing that I'm learning is that as long as people still believe the illusion of this world is reality, or in other words, as long as people believe this physical universe is their true home, we can not escape from the world of illusion entirely.
Our minds are connected, are one with each other and with God, and we can't be completely in two places at once. We can become enlightened individually (knowing are oneness with God) but we will still be tied to this world, because we are connected to are brother's who are still entrapped in this world. But I think the more people who free their minds from the bondage of the physical world, the faster humanity will progress.
Anytime I doubt this is possible, I remember, if God is perfect and love and he created us in his likeness than we must be perfect and love. It's all about remembering who I really am as God created me. Not who I am as I created myself. It's about meeting myself again and knowing myself.
In the Introduction of A Course in Miracles it says, "The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love's presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite."
Our blocks to the awareness of love's presence is the illusion of this world and our own perceptions of it. We see sickness, death, hunger, violence, war and hatred all around us so no wonder we are not aware of love's presence. However, if we can remove the perception that these horrible things make up our existence and who we are, then love, which is our true existence will reveal itself.
This world of pain and suffering is not "it" for us. Bodies can die and can be hurt, but we live on. Our spirit continues to exist for eternity. We exist within the mind of God. When that is realized the world of pain will cease to exist.
Jesus came to Earth in a body 2,000 years ago to tell us this. The thing is though, he is still here. His body died 2,000 years ago, but he was resurrected. He is here to help us anytime we call on him and ask.
So, everybody say it with me now, "TECH SUPPORT, IT'S A NIGHTMARE!!!" (From the movie Vanilla Sky, I've seen it like a gazillion times). Ha, ha, ha!
What a day and a half! I've gone from light to darkness and to light in a matter of about 24 hours. I just had to tell you about it.
Last night, for no particular reason, I was in love. I just had this feeling of new love. Like when you fall in love with someone and your on cloud 9. The best way to describe it was a lovely peacefulness. Then this morning, for no particular reason, I woke up feeling pretty apathetic. Didn't have a reason to get out of bed. When I did get up, I found out one of Fiance's 20 something cousins died in his sleep. He was fine, then dead. Very puzzling. Later we were told it was a massive heart attack. And then to add to this horrible start to the day Fiance's brother was admitted to the hospital. They finally figured out what was wrong and he will be okay.
I was really trying to see things differently. I picked up A Course in Miracles, but it was just words. I didn't feel any better. I was in a major funk. I read your blog hoping it would help me. And it did! You have a way of putting things into perspective. For Lesson 57 you said that things may get uncomfortable because new emotional responses might be coming to the surface. You quoted chapter 1 which says "Lack implies that you would be better off in a state different than the one you are in." And then you said, "All that is needed is acceptance of where you are RIGHT NOW. Once acceptance is established, the Power of God will lift and transport you to wherever you need to go." So, instead of repressing it and remaining calm and cool on the exterior, I just let the unpleasant feelings and emotions rise to the surface and just let it be.
I realized when I read your blog and observed my thoughts and feelings that I'm always thinking that I should be where I'm not. That I should be better. That I shouldn't be upset or in a bad mood and I wonder what is wrong with me. So, I just accepted where I was in the moment. I stopped beating myself up.
Later I thought, what am I to do with all this sickness and death going on around me? I wondered why this was all happening at once. I was trying to realize that sickness and death is all an illusion, but I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I was feeling sad for my Fiance's family and his uncle and his cousin's brother. I felt for my Fiance and his Mom worrying about his brother in the hospital. Sickness and death is very real when your so close to it and immersed within it.
I was thinking, I just don't get it. That this world is an illusion. It was an interesting idea to think of, but it wasn't my reality. I speak in past tense here because it has become clear to me and I am totally FREAKING OUT, but in a good way.
Earlier today while I was doing laundry, to past the time I decided to go to the Miracle Times website. I come across the Master Teacher videos and decided to watch the one on Resurrection. There wasn't a specific thing that he said in the video that really made the idea of the world being an illusion make sense to me. The video was quite an experience. The Master Teacher might as well have been sitting face to face with me speaking directly to me because that is exactly how I felt. I could see the pieces of the puzzle coming together to finally reveal the truth to me.
He was talking about the book A New Earth in the beginning and Tolle's experience of going into a void but the void was within him. Then the Master Teacher talking about being resurrected and about losing your body for a moment. I thought, I've been resurrected! That whole experience on my 22nd birthday, when I fell within myself and into a void and was told really everything but can only remember the essence of the experience. After that experience my life totally changed. I had new friends in a new environment and new opportunities. My physical appearance even changed. It was like a resurrection. And I've had more than one resurrection. It's when I decide to choose something different and my whole world changes. I realized that I can just choose to see differently and to be different. That really this physical form and physical world is not solid at all but very fluid. I really, really understand now that all I have to do is change my mind to change the world. The world is just a light projection of ourselves, a hologram.
Have you ever heard of the online virtual world called Second Life? You go into this virtual world on the internet, create your body, your identity and give yourself a name. Then you can purchase land and build whatever you want. You can make business contacts and go to lectures and meetings with multiple people. You can buy and sell physical objects and services as well as virtual things.
That is what this world, the universe, we live in is like! We created this fun virtual world to play in but for some reason became so engrossed in playing the game and creating the game that we started to think we were the game and then everything went to hell. It's like the Matrix too. All we need to do is press the delete button or pull the plug.
I just want to hold on to this awareness. I don't want to forget, that all I need to do is ask or just change my mind. I can escape from the world I see! I believe it!!!
It was funny what came into my mind when I had this awareness. I thought of the movie Vanilla Sky when Tom Cruise's character realizes he's just been dreaming and nothing he had been experiencing was real and he runs down the hall yelling, "TECH SUPPORT!!!!, It's a NIGHTMARE!!!" I can totally relate.
What a breath of fresh air this awareness is! I just had to tell you about it. Thank you for helping me accept myself for who I am and where I am.
Love,
CC
The other thing that I'm learning is that as long as people still believe the illusion of this world is reality, or in other words, as long as people believe this physical universe is their true home, we can not escape from the world of illusion entirely.
Our minds are connected, are one with each other and with God, and we can't be completely in two places at once. We can become enlightened individually (knowing are oneness with God) but we will still be tied to this world, because we are connected to are brother's who are still entrapped in this world. But I think the more people who free their minds from the bondage of the physical world, the faster humanity will progress.
Anytime I doubt this is possible, I remember, if God is perfect and love and he created us in his likeness than we must be perfect and love. It's all about remembering who I really am as God created me. Not who I am as I created myself. It's about meeting myself again and knowing myself.
In the Introduction of A Course in Miracles it says, "The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love's presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite."
Our blocks to the awareness of love's presence is the illusion of this world and our own perceptions of it. We see sickness, death, hunger, violence, war and hatred all around us so no wonder we are not aware of love's presence. However, if we can remove the perception that these horrible things make up our existence and who we are, then love, which is our true existence will reveal itself.
This world of pain and suffering is not "it" for us. Bodies can die and can be hurt, but we live on. Our spirit continues to exist for eternity. We exist within the mind of God. When that is realized the world of pain will cease to exist.
Jesus came to Earth in a body 2,000 years ago to tell us this. The thing is though, he is still here. His body died 2,000 years ago, but he was resurrected. He is here to help us anytime we call on him and ask.
So, everybody say it with me now, "TECH SUPPORT, IT'S A NIGHTMARE!!!" (From the movie Vanilla Sky, I've seen it like a gazillion times). Ha, ha, ha!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
An Experiment for Truth Continues... Indefinitly
My experiment yesterday of being in the moment with a still mind throughout the day was a process of realizing I wasn't in the moment and my mind was racing and then bringing my attention back to seeing what is really taking place in the moment. It was an enlightening experience.
This experiment really brought to my awareness the effects of my thoughts. One of my review lessons today is "I have no neutral thoughts". These are the related comments to the idea of the lesson:
"Neutral thoughts are impossible because all thoughts have power. They will either make a false world or lead me to the real one. But thoughts cannot be without effects. As the world I see arises from my thinking errors, so will the real world rise before my eyes as I let my errors be corrected. My thoughts cannot be neither true nor false. They must be one or the other. What I see shows me which they are."
I need to back up a little to explain what was going on in my life yesterday. So, I've been getting to know a woman who is interested in hiring me to be her nanny/personal assistant/keeper of the schedules of the household/member along with my Fiance of an intentional community she wants to create. Yesterday, I met her husband and oldest son, which was the last step in the process. I'm pretty confident and certain that the position is ours. She's never come right out and said, "you're hired", but we've discussed when we will be moving in. And after meeting her husband, we babysat her children while they went out for a few hours.
Getting to know, and caring for, her children was where I could really see the effects of my thoughts or quiet mind. At the times I expected certain negative behaviors from the children or was uncertain with what to do, I directly saw the behavior I expected and the effects of my uncertainty. If I was a push-over, they would push me over.
When I finally came to the present, it was effortless. I would say, "put your jammies on" and they would. Before when I asked, "will you put your jammies on?" already expecting they are not going to want to go to bed - of course they would resist. I expected they wouldn't want to go to be because of experiences I've had with other children in the past who didn't want to go to bed. I was making the children I'm with in the present the same as the ones in the past. What I noticed when I brought my attention to the present, these children were sleepy and needed to go to bed.
My mind changed immediately, in the moment. What had to be done, had to be now, not later or if they want to. When I said, "time for stories, the sun has gone down" they got in bed for stories. One even said as soon as she laid down and got comfortable, "I'm already feeling sleepy." After a few books, I said "okay, I'm going to turn out the lights now so you can sleep." No wining, no arguing. I turned out the light and they went to sleep.
What I saw with my experiment yesterday is that the children directly experienced the effects of my thoughts. Another one of my review lessons is lesson 19. "I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. I am alone in nothing. Everything I think or say or do teaches all the universe. A Son of God cannot think or speak or act in vain. He cannot be alone in anything. It is therefore in my power to change every mind along with mine, for mine is the power of God."
So, do I want to teach passivity, uncertainty or weakness. I know now, when I am uncertain and think I am weak, it wastes a lot of time and energy. Nothing is accomplished. I want to teach certainty, love, peace and joy and I'm noticing those are only in the mind which is present.
This experience was so positive for me. I'm going to continue to be mindful of where my mind is. A Course in Miracles says something like your real thoughts are those you think with God. I want to think with God, so I need to clear space in my mind to hear the thoughts of God. Right now, there are so many unnecessary thoughts in my mind. Much of the time the atmosphere of my mind is like a packed bar with a live band and twenty different conversations going on around me. I know though, that my mind can be quiet and full of the Peace of God. I have experienced moments of it, but I would like to stretch those moments out to eternity.
Eternity is only in the present moment. Reality is only in the present moment. The past and future do not exist.
Which brings me to the review of lesson 20: "I am determined to see. Recognizing the shared nature of my thoughts, I am determined to see. I would look upon the witnesses that show me the thinking of the world has been changed. I would behold the proof that what has been done through me has enabled love to replace fear, laughter to replace tears, and abundance to replace loss. I would look upon the real world, and let it teach me that my will and the Will of God are one."
This experiment really brought to my awareness the effects of my thoughts. One of my review lessons today is "I have no neutral thoughts". These are the related comments to the idea of the lesson:
"Neutral thoughts are impossible because all thoughts have power. They will either make a false world or lead me to the real one. But thoughts cannot be without effects. As the world I see arises from my thinking errors, so will the real world rise before my eyes as I let my errors be corrected. My thoughts cannot be neither true nor false. They must be one or the other. What I see shows me which they are."
I need to back up a little to explain what was going on in my life yesterday. So, I've been getting to know a woman who is interested in hiring me to be her nanny/personal assistant/keeper of the schedules of the household/member along with my Fiance of an intentional community she wants to create. Yesterday, I met her husband and oldest son, which was the last step in the process. I'm pretty confident and certain that the position is ours. She's never come right out and said, "you're hired", but we've discussed when we will be moving in. And after meeting her husband, we babysat her children while they went out for a few hours.
Getting to know, and caring for, her children was where I could really see the effects of my thoughts or quiet mind. At the times I expected certain negative behaviors from the children or was uncertain with what to do, I directly saw the behavior I expected and the effects of my uncertainty. If I was a push-over, they would push me over.
When I finally came to the present, it was effortless. I would say, "put your jammies on" and they would. Before when I asked, "will you put your jammies on?" already expecting they are not going to want to go to bed - of course they would resist. I expected they wouldn't want to go to be because of experiences I've had with other children in the past who didn't want to go to bed. I was making the children I'm with in the present the same as the ones in the past. What I noticed when I brought my attention to the present, these children were sleepy and needed to go to bed.
My mind changed immediately, in the moment. What had to be done, had to be now, not later or if they want to. When I said, "time for stories, the sun has gone down" they got in bed for stories. One even said as soon as she laid down and got comfortable, "I'm already feeling sleepy." After a few books, I said "okay, I'm going to turn out the lights now so you can sleep." No wining, no arguing. I turned out the light and they went to sleep.
What I saw with my experiment yesterday is that the children directly experienced the effects of my thoughts. Another one of my review lessons is lesson 19. "I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. I am alone in nothing. Everything I think or say or do teaches all the universe. A Son of God cannot think or speak or act in vain. He cannot be alone in anything. It is therefore in my power to change every mind along with mine, for mine is the power of God."
So, do I want to teach passivity, uncertainty or weakness. I know now, when I am uncertain and think I am weak, it wastes a lot of time and energy. Nothing is accomplished. I want to teach certainty, love, peace and joy and I'm noticing those are only in the mind which is present.
This experience was so positive for me. I'm going to continue to be mindful of where my mind is. A Course in Miracles says something like your real thoughts are those you think with God. I want to think with God, so I need to clear space in my mind to hear the thoughts of God. Right now, there are so many unnecessary thoughts in my mind. Much of the time the atmosphere of my mind is like a packed bar with a live band and twenty different conversations going on around me. I know though, that my mind can be quiet and full of the Peace of God. I have experienced moments of it, but I would like to stretch those moments out to eternity.
Eternity is only in the present moment. Reality is only in the present moment. The past and future do not exist.
Which brings me to the review of lesson 20: "I am determined to see. Recognizing the shared nature of my thoughts, I am determined to see. I would look upon the witnesses that show me the thinking of the world has been changed. I would behold the proof that what has been done through me has enabled love to replace fear, laughter to replace tears, and abundance to replace loss. I would look upon the real world, and let it teach me that my will and the Will of God are one."
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